In Theaters: The Judge *1/2

Yeah...this is going to be a short post.  I don't like spending a lot of time writing bad reviews.

On paper, The Judge appears to be something special.  It has a great cast.  It had a great trailer.  In fact, when I saw the trailer the first time, I thought for sure this was surefire Oscar bait.  The previews seemed to scream: "For your consideration!"  But, now that I've seen the movie, the only thing I can compare it to is this parody trailer from a few years back:

The movie stars Robert Downey Jr. as an overused cliche who heads back home to visit his estranged cliched family after his mother passes away (cliche).  Predictable cliches ensue.  Said cliches include: a father with misunderstood anger issues (played by Robert Duvall), an old girlfriend (played by Vera Farmiga) who, after decades, still carries a torch, a brother (played by Vincent D'Onofrio) who sold out and stayed behind to take care of the family, and another brother with a disability (played by an actor whose name I'm too lazy to look up).

The story switches between the tired man-comes-home-to-estranged-family-after-one-of-them-dies cliche to an odd (read: stupid) legal drama that has no basis in any kind of reality.  I know it has no basis in reality because I'm a lawyer and because I have half a brain.

You see, Robert Duvall is a judge.  And, he killed a man...maybe.  He doesn't know whether he did it.  Neither does the audience.  He just happened to do it (or not do it) when his estranged son -- who happens to be superstar, slimy defense attorney -- is in town.  Courtroom cliches ensue, except when they're not cliches but, instead, inane ramblings from a script that reads like it was written by a drunk third grader.

Seriously, the climactic scene in the courtroom is so, so bad, I couldn't even laugh at it, though I'm certain that I rolled my eyes hard enough that the couple behind me probably heard it.

I do have to say there are a couple of scenes that aren't terrible.  And, the production values aren't half bad, hence the one and a half star rating (the story and script are definitely below that already low level).

But, make no mistake, you should not go see this movie, even if you're the world's biggest Robert Downey Jr. fan.  Don't go see it, even if you're related to Robert Duvall by blood.  You'll get nothing out of it but disappointment at the wasted potential and, more importantly, the two and half hours (yes, it's that long) you'll never get back.